Relationships...

Singleness...To My Married and Single Folks
When you come before God, you come as a separate and distant individual, regardless of the fact that you may be an identical twin or married. None of these relational ties- especially marriage-change your singleness. Therefore, never have a issue with being single. In fact, its is the basis for who you are as a person! Singleness allows you to highlight your individuality and uniqueness! Its not a negative or unhealthy state of being. However, singleness is something that should be pursued by everyone.

When a person lay aside their individuality just because they are married many problems tend to arise.Why? He/She entered that marriage with the wrong mindset. They expect their spouse to make them complete or solves their problems of insecurity, inadequacy or inferiority. PUH-LEASE! Thats too much pressure on anyone! Your life partner is your help meet...YOUR PARTNER. Your partners role is to complement you, not complete you.

" God is completion; your partner is an addition."

If you are having difficulty being content in your singleness, the best solution is to work on yourself and your relationship with God, then establish healthy relationships with others. No one should marry until he/she is comfortable with his or her own individuality.

Remember, God should be your most powerful source of love. God is love. He is the One that teaches you how to love and care for anyone, especially your spouse.

Single Folks...Dating Yourself?
What does being 'single' really mean? Well, I would say that the word single means, "to be different and unique." I'm sure you've heard many times that single does not mean isolated or secluded. Whatever you do, don't marry to avoid being or feeling alone. Many people are married, but continue to battle loneliness. Why? They thought marriage was what they needed to feel complete and whole. Unfortunately, marriage is not the cure for loneliness. Don't fall in this trap. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all things will be added to you as well. (Matt. 6:33). Throw those negative feelings away and learn to establish and maintain a relationship with God, yourself and others around you. However, it is critical to be single before being in a relationship with someone.

First, you must develop a relationship God, which takes time. Prayer, worship, spending time in the Word, the Bible are essential to forming a deep relationship with Him. He will lead you, walk with you daily and live in you; make Him your Companion...Your Significant Other!

You see folks, enjoy your singleness and (ladies) stop searching (pursuing/chasing) for Mr. Right because its not Right. You put so much energy on fruitless searches, concentrate on putting God first. With God as your Companion, and friends around to prevent the thoughts of loneliness, you begin to enjoy your singleness and allow the Way-Maker to present the precious gift of a spouse to you. When you find yourself being desperate for someone to hold and comfort you, call on your Companion. Actually, thats an indication that you need to form a deeper relationship with Him. You thirst for love and He is your well. He will give you the desires of your heart, but first you must depend on Him to show you how to make love work.
(Hallelujah!)

Secondly, you must have a good relationship with You; learn to date yourself. Singleness allows you to celebrate your individuality. Oftentimes, I hear people boasting about their partners accomplishments and success, but never have their own story to tell. What are you contributing to the relationship? Learn to love yourself first- the good, the bad and the ugly. Even the negative qualities allows you to be different from the other 6 billion people on the planet. (Gosh!) Remember, God is all for being unique! You have to learn to be happy with how God made you and who you are.

Lets Talk About Me:

My Relationship with My Family...
There has been a plethora of people that has helped me get where I am today- My family. Particularly, my relationship with my brothers has shaped me into a beautiful (FINE) young woman, lol. Yes, they were overprotective, but it paid off. According to one of my brothers, he chased away a few dirt bags in my past. Thank Goodness! Lets just say I enjoyed a little trash mixed in with my class. However, that was my past (middle school, lmbo). All of my brothers have proven themselves to be great, influential men. I know now that there is no need to compromise. Why fantasize? The reality is that God used my brothers to remind me that there are great men on this planet. "Don't settle for less." Just as He made them He will create him.

My Relationship to a Tribe called Igbo...
When I look at my Nigerian roots and the meaning of my name it makes me smile. I am unique! I have so many things mixed in me. "I know I got some Indian in me too" (Sha-nae-nae voice, snapping fingers with some hot Cheetos on the side, lol. Forgive me if your a Native American -just a joke). No really, one day I will discover who I really am. I feel like a huge part of me have not been discovered. How can I tell my children that I'm apart of a tribe. I don't know the language. I don't know the culture. The only thing I know about Africa is a food...the one you mix with flour and water...the American way. Its called Fu-Fu. You see, I'm clueless. If my aunts or uncles walked beside me right now and asked a question I wouldn't know them. They are strangers. I probably wouldn't speak to them. Well, I guess I will have to learn who I am. I will travel to Africa; I will race through the hot desserts to find them before I die of thirst. This is the only way these roots will continue to grow or else, they will be cut off.

Please, feel free to comment or give feedback.
Thank you,
ajo